Monday, May 30, 2011
Well here he is, our son Kason McKee Musick
I have delayed in writing this post because my mind is jumbled with all of these things that I want to say, but I have honestly been to exhausted to think about them. In my last few posts I left all of you with the impression that we were back on the fertility roller coaster...and we were. I had gone to the doctor and he encouraged us to not only try again but also to look into IVF. The reason that we chose the adoption path back in August was not only because God was leading me to adoption (more on that in a minute) but also because IVF was a huge health risk for me. Turns out IVF was not as big of a deal for me as the doctor originally thought. We got to a point where adoption seemed exhausting and IVF sort of seemed like the easiest way for us to start a family. I tried and tried to talk myself into the idea of IVF and I almost had myself convinced. I still had major reservations. IVF is definitely for some people and I think God leads everyone down different paths, but for Ryan and I it never felt right. About a month and a half ago we called our preacher and his wife to talk and to have them pray with us. (thanks Josh and Kayci! We love you guys) We had literally reached the end of our rope. It was one of those moments where we were at a crossroads and we had to choose a path. We left that night with a prayer for God's yes, whether that was IVF, adoption, or whatever. We prayed that prayer for God's yes for a week. On the Thursday before Easter, we got a phone call about a little girl that was due in September. We knew God had given us a yes on which path he wanted us on. There were several things that worried me about the September baby, including the fact that the birthmom was only 5 months pregnant. That meant I would have to go 5 more months with the fear of her backing out. I immediately began praying that God would take care of all of my fears. The Saturday before Easter, we received another call about a baby boy (this is Kason by the way) in Tulsa, OK that was due in three weeks. There was really no chance that the birthmom could back out. If she did not give him up, he would immediately go into foster care. God took care of all of my fears right there. We began preparing for a baby being born in three weeks. I was still so afraid that something was going to go wrong. I then began to pray that if God wanted this for us, he would work out ALL of the details. Not only did he work out all of the details, but he went above and beyond. He even took care of the little things. An example of this...I was looking for a duffel bag to put all of Kason's clothes in and everything online was going to take too long to be delivered. I searched everywhere. Finally one day my mom found one and not only was it cute, but it had a matching diaper bag with a K already monogramed on it. How crazy is that? BY FAR the greatest thing that God worked out was our stay in Tulsa. We knew that we were going to have to stay in Tulsa for about two weeks and a hotel cost for that long was pricey. I prayed that once again God would work it out. Our preacher called Ryan and told him that he had some friends that lived in Tulsa and they offered for us to stay with them. What an answered prayer. It goes even further, Mitch, Shannon, and their kids ended up being the most awesome people we have ever met....literally! God knew just what he was doing placing them in our adoption story. This experience would not have been the same without them and I get teary-eyed thinking about how they have impacted our lives. It's like we had known them forever. The crazy part...every year for the past several years they have moved an intern working at the church into the spare bedroom. This year, they didn't have one that needed to live with them. That could have only been orchestrated by God. Mitch, Shannon, Jake, and Ashton we love you guys and we are forever grateful that you provided a temporary home for the 3 of us.
On Monday May 17th, we got a call that the birthmom had gone to the doctor at 1 pm, and had not dilated at all. It would be another two weeks at the least. Kason had other plans, he decided to come that night. We got a call around 11pm that she was in labor. We threw everything we could find in a suitcase and hit the road. Kason was born at 2:38 am. We didn't get there until 6 am. The first time I saw him, I felt so many emotions. I was angry with the birthmom, because I couldn't understand why she would give up something so precious. On the other hand I was so thankful that she gave me such a wonderful gift. We got to meet both parents and I am very glad for that experience. It definitely put things into perspective. No matter what my first impressions were, I will always be grateful for her and the birthdad and they will always hold a special place in my heart.
Kason is such an amazing baby and I thank God for him everyday. I am so glad that God chose us to not only be mom and dad but adoptive mom and dad. We both agree that we would not have things any other way. God just gave us such a peace about everything. We love him just as much as if he physically came from us. We definitely want God to get all of the glory for every step of our journey. God reminds me everyday when I look at Kason, that he is not the only one that has been adopted... Ryan and I both have been adopted by God himself.